How Moms and Dads Work with Nannies


If you have or are considering hiring a nanny, you realize what an important decision it is. This is the person that you are going to trust with your children on a daily basis to guide them in your home while you aren’t there. However, this isn’t a solo effort. You, your spouse and the nanny are team that is working together to benefit your children.

Building the relationship of the team is critical to ensuring its success. Take time to have discussions about the following topics with your spouse so the two of you are on the same page. That way, you can bring a nanny on board that buys into your team vision.

Establish a Management Plan

Oftentimes so much of the focus is put on choosing the right nanny that couples will often overlook the management strategy that they are going to use with their new employee. Fact is, a good employee-employer relationship doesn’t just happen. There needs to be a plan. This can be particularly frustrating if the relationship is one sided.

One member of the management team (you or your spouse) may start to feel that they are always in the role of “bad cop.” They are the ones that handle all of the issues as they arise. They are the ones who have to deal with any issues with the nanny or between the nanny and the children. If it is not decided before hand, the nanny can even receive mixed messages from mom and dad about what is and isn’t acceptable.

Take time before you hire to discuss and plan how you are going to manage your new nanny. This will allow both of you to present a united front and consistency to your new employee.

Keep Things Professional

It is very natural to fall into a very personal relationship with your nanny. They begin to feel like family because they are around in places that the family interacts. This can make managing a nanny difficult if issues arise.

Remember that you have an employee-employer relationship. While it is possible to foster a warm and respectful relationship between you and your nanny, remember not to intrude on their personal life or expect too much from them. They are a childcare professional, after all. Foster trust and respect without being intrusive.

Clearly Define Roles

When you hire a new nanny, you will need to lay out the expectations you have for that person when they start. You also need to make sure that you and your spouse have the same expectations and roles defined for your nanny.

It is very easy for one parent to feel that the nanny can be a “stand in” for them when they are not there. The opposite is also true where a parent can feel threatened by a nanny’s influence with their children. Well established roles go a long away to preventing this sort of thing from happening.

If you need help finding a nanny, contact Opti-Mum today! We can help with all of your Vancouver child care needs.

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